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Investment News and Views, Direct from Our Team.

Never tell your mate his wife is ugly!!!

After writing the last post about the Aussie banks, one of my colleagues suggested that I write an apology to all the bank share lovers in Australia that I may have offended.

The recent price rise of CBA and Westpac of 45% after they announced virtually no profit increase shows how much Aussies love their banks. We have the most loved banks in the world (our banks are about 2 to 3 times more expensive than our global peers) and so I should not bag something which is so endeared. So I have come to the conclusion that I am not going to win any friends by telling people about the risks of these institutions and I should officially apologise for suggesting that they have any downside.

Dear Bank Share Lovers,

I sincerely apologise for suggesting that your wife (the banks) may be ugly. I find it very endearing that you believe a 5% dividend yield is good enough for you and that you do not see the ugly side of your wife (the banks).

I truly hope that your wife’s stunning beauty never fades (that Australian house prices remain some of the most expensive in the entire world and that Australia manages to never again have another recession). I wish you luck with your wife for the rest of your marriage (and hope that unemployment remains below 6% for the rest of your time invested in the banks).

I also wish that Santa grants your wish of your wife winning the Miss World title (Australian mortgage debt to GDP growing higher than its current level to be the true world title holder – were not far off the record!!! Come on Aussie come on!!!)

Although the divorce rate around the world (bank problems) is close to 50%, I honestly believe that your relationship with your wife (bank) is different and cannot fail.

I sincerely wish you the best of luck in your relationship and I apologise for any words that I said otherwise.


Rob Shears